Back in November, I took a break from my daily cup of coffee and was a little surprised to find that within just a few days, my vocabulary had halved and my ability to finish a sentence seemed to be on the fritz. I’ve always been sensitive, so it made sense that caffeine withdrawal could make me feel fuzzy and tired. But months later, my brain fog hadn’t gotten even a bit better and I was still super tired. Mid-sentence I lost my train of thought, never to catch it agai

Have you ever done a social media search for the term "self care?" The search results tend to be dominated by fancy bath products, essential oils, and beautifully photographed meals. To a passerby, it might look like self care is pretty luxurious. I'm not saying that face masks and $8 smoothies aren't good ways to nurture yourself. They can be pretty great even if the effects wear off in a couple of hours. However, the self care that has the biggest impact on our daily liv

Something I hear a lot is "I know _____ (exercise, taking my medication, eating breakfast, going to bed on time, etc.) is such a small and easy thing. Everyone else is able to do it, but for some reason I just can't get my act together." I just wanted to send you a reminder today that 1) sometimes the "easy" stuff is actually really hard and takes a lot of energy and 2) you aren't alone if you feel that way. We don't like to look at the shadow side of the self care movement a

A lot of the phrases I hear when I talk to super busy people about self care are, "I should," "I need to," "I have to," plus extremely loud sighs. If you're already overworked, having a laundry list of the stuff you've GOTTA do to take care of yourself can be overwhelming! How on earth can you get all of your work done, take the dog to the vet, run your errands, get the trash to the curb, pay the bills, drop off food for your sick neighbor, call your mom, AND feed yourself

We all want a good night’s sleep. But sometimes it’s just not happening. A new medication gives you night sweats. The neighbor’s car alarm keeps going off. The kids want endless glasses of water. You’re worried something is wrong with the cat and she may need to go to the vet. Or you just can’t put your finger on why, but your brain won’t shut down. On top of not being able to fall asleep, an annoying voice pipes up: “Even if I fall asleep this very second, I’m going

A lot of my coaching clients come to our first session with a long list of abandoned self care goals and an inner critic who is pretty revved up about it. Many of these strong, wise, highly-motivated people used a popular strategy for changing habits: setting highly specific, measurable goals. Super detailed goals can be helpful for some behaviors for some people. Many times, though, rigid goals set us up to fail. In the real world, people have a hard time meeting

Do you ever hear a term so many times that it starts to lose its meaning? “Self care” can be one of those terms. It’s so ever-present that it’s easy to overlook a key part: care. We don’t always extend the care we give others to ourselves. We listen to our friends’ worries, affirm their feelings, and remind them that we’ve got their backs no matter what. Even though we scold the dog for peeing on the rug, we later remind him, “Awww, you’re such a good boy!” When k

These wintry days are chilly and dark and the holidays can be tough, so I thought I'd send you a little inspiration to nurture yourself through the end of the year! Although the reminders below are particularly relevant for tending to yourself during the winter holiday gauntlet, they apply year-round. Especially if you are grieving or low (and even if you’re not), please give yourself permission and tenderness to continually check in with what’s right for YOU. 1) You don’t

Exercise used to be my unhealthy obsession. It usually felt joyless, but I gave it hours every day. I’d jog alone at night and lift weights so aggressively that I was nearly always sore. If someone delayed my "workout" (a term I rarely use now!), I would get so anxious that I wanted to cry. My friends called me a health nut, but when I was honest with myself, I wasn’t exercising for my health. I was willingly sacrificing my safety and mental health to shrink my body into OK-n

Last month I wrote about lowering your standards so self care is an invitation, not an obligation. For example, rather than resisting an hour of yoga, offer yourself one pose. If more happens after that one pose, awesome! If it doesn’t, you’ve still practiced. The purpose in lowering standards is to offer yourself an invitation to self care that’s easy to say “yes” to. The more often you accept that invitation, the sooner you’ll find yourself with a steady habit that can g