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STARTING NOW

self care, self compassion, yoga, body positive, coach, wellness, health, body image, stress, self criticism

The "I'll start tomorrow" self care trap

The "I'll start tomorrow" self care trap

How many times have you wanted to take action toward feeling better and said to yourself: "Yes, I want that! But I can't start right now. I'm too tired, busy, distracted, overwhelmed, ____. I'll start tomorrow, when it's easier." In my work, I hear about so many walking shoes not yet broken-in, bedtimes ignored, doctor's appointments put off, vacation days unused, calls to friends never dialed, relationship conflicts never resolved, novels unwritten, lunch breaks skipped,

If it hurts, it's not yoga

If it hurts, it's not yoga

If there’s one thing you remember the next time you get on your mat to practice yoga (or lace up your running shoes or get on a machine at the gym), let it be this: If it hurts, change it. You are welcome to challenge yourself to your comfort level in class, but please don’t connect suffering through painful movement with yoga. You can find suffering in plenty of other areas of life! During our first yoga lesson together recently, a client told me, “squats always hurt my knee

Beginning again

Beginning again

Back in November, I took a break from my daily cup of coffee and was a little surprised to find that within just a few days, my vocabulary had halved and my ability to finish a sentence seemed to be on the fritz. I’ve always been sensitive, so it made sense that caffeine withdrawal could make me feel fuzzy and tired. But months later, my brain fog hadn’t gotten even a bit better and I was still super tired. Mid-sentence I lost my train of thought, never to catch it agai

One question to soften panic and find compassion

One question to soften panic and find compassion

As 2017 seems to rush to an end, I'm steadying myself in an intention that feels grounding when it seems like time is flying. (Because wow, wasn't it just Halloween?) This intention is also a solid first step to offering myself compassion when things get heavy and I'm teetering on the edge of overwhelmed. It's really simple. Take a breath and ask, "What am I willing to notice?" This question isn't meant to withdraw us from participating in the world, but to engage a lit

Can positive thinking "cure" your negative emotions?

Can positive thinking "cure" your negative emotions?

There's a weird self improvement philosophy that takes positive thinking to the extreme by suggesting that we only experience negative feelings because our mindset is messed up. The idea is that if you can just look at the world through a positive lens, you can be done with negative feelings and transform your life for the better! That simplicity sounds tempting, right? Unfortunately, the positivity-or-bust approach can start to look less like stepping into a transformed li

First aid for mile long to-do list stress

First aid for mile long to-do list stress

A lot of the phrases I hear when I talk to super busy people about self care are, "I should," "I need to," "I have to," plus extremely loud sighs. If you're already overworked, having a laundry list of the stuff you've GOTTA do to take care of yourself can be overwhelming! How on earth can you get all of your work done, take the dog to the vet, run your errands, get the trash to the curb, pay the bills, drop off food for your sick neighbor, call your mom, AND feed yourself

Flamingos and yoga

Flamingos and yoga

I teach a pose in my yoga classes that I've been calling the “funky flamingo.” Obviously the funky flamingo isn’t a sacred, ancient yoga pose! It’s just a fun shape with a silly name that can become part of your yoga practice when you bring your attention, breath, and compassion to it. If you’re curious, here’s a version of it: There's a lot going on! Chair pose, a heel squeezing up to challenge the hamstrings, a twist, plus balance. If you're having a tough balance day

Do you have to "earn" self care?

Do you have to "earn" self care?

Here’s something I wish I learned before I people-pleased, overworked, criticized, and overextended myself into burnout years ago: You don’t have to earn self care. Too often we put off our needs until we meet our unspoken requirements for worthiness. For many of us, productivity is one of the biggest requirements. Before we deserve rest, boundaries, or nourishment, we bargain that we first have to accomplish, succeed, and give, give, give. Oof. The marathon just t

Why body peace matters in an unpeaceful world

Why body peace matters in an unpeaceful world

Every day, the news is full of yet another layer of heartbreak. So many kind, loving hearts are grieving around the world. Because of this, I’ve been second-guessing whether to write what I’d planned. I worried it might be petty to talk about making peace with our bodies at a time when violence seems to be everywhere we turn, and our action feels urgent. Then I attended a webinar led by the powerful Sonya Renee Taylor, the founder of The Body Is Not An Apology, and I was

When relaxing feels harder than staying stressed

When relaxing feels harder than staying stressed

Eight years ago, before I really learned how to nurture myself, I was convinced for a while that slowing down might break me. When I got home at the end of a long day, I was often so tired that all I wanted to do was flop on the couch, but as soon as I did, I felt restless and anxious. As soon as I closed my eyes to meditate, I’d either break into tears or a cold sweat. For the life of me, I couldn’t lure my body into a full night’s sleep. I sometimes see this in clients a

Second nature self care

Second nature self care

Last month I wrote about lowering your standards so self care is an invitation, not an obligation. For example, rather than resisting an hour of yoga, offer yourself one pose. If more happens after that one pose, awesome! If it doesn’t, you’ve still practiced. The purpose in lowering standards is to offer yourself an invitation to self care that’s easy to say “yes” to. The more often you accept that invitation, the sooner you’ll find yourself with a steady habit that can g

How to set an intention

How to set an intention

The summer before I started yoga teacher training, I aggravated an old running injury and found myself with continuous knee pain. Most movement and even some sitting and lying positions hurt. So nearly every evening that summer, I showed up to my yoga mat with the same intention: to be gentle. I chanted it to myself before every sun salutation, every forward bend, every hip opener, every last movement: “Be gentle.” If any hint of pain or tweaking arose, I would again finel

An "emotional buffer" for when life feels too sad

An "emotional buffer" for when life feels too sad

I don’t know about you, but for me, the chaos and grief in the world has seemed particularly loud this year. In the past, these might be times when I just accepted that I was going to slip into an incapacitated sadness of sorts, anticipating that my emotions would become too raw for me to do anything but get by in my daily life, let alone take action. I've learned over the years that to avoid reaching that state (and fast-tracking myself to depression), it can help to creat

Some lessons you have to learn twice

Some lessons you have to learn twice

The other morning, on my way to the mailbox in stained house-cleaning clothes, I thought to myself, “Oh, I should definitely know better by now.” You see, not that long ago, in these same ratty clothes, I was caught on camera by the Bing Maps mapping car. Now that there’s a photo of me looking unkempt and startled, available to anyone looking for street view directions to our neighborhood, you’d think I’d put more effort into my appearance when I go to the mailbox. Clearly th

Something beautiful happened today

Something beautiful happened today

It wasn’t monumental or dramatic, but something beautiful happened today. While I was teaching, a storm rolled in, and we began our meditation to the sound of pouring rain and thunder. We then closed our eyes as we flowed with our breath between cat and cow pose and focused on absorbing the loveliness of the sounds. It was the best kind of music. I may not remember that moment next month, but it was beautiful today. Something beautiful happened for you today, too. It may have

How to cope with emotional emergencies

How to cope with emotional emergencies

I vividly remember how itchy and lonely I was during my first bout of depression. Nothing appealed to me. I didn't want to be awake but I didn't want to go to bed. I felt isolated but I didn't want to talk to anyone. Work both distracted and frustrated me. It was a struggle to remember things I liked, and for the life of me, I couldn't think of anyone who would be willing to spend time with me. Feeling good seemed like a distant, unattainable memory. Emotional emergencies lik

Be happy and free

Exhaling love

Breathe from your heart

Breathe from your heart

Mindful Minutes are brief meditations and self care inspiration to help you fit mindfulness and rest into your busy schedule. You don't have to sit in meditation for a long time. All it takes are a few moments of letting go. This heart-centered breathing practice will bring you lovingly back to your body with warmth and comfort. Click the link below to get the audio recording! Mindful Minute: Heart-Centered Breathing If you want to listen in your car or anytime you're away fr

What's your WHY?

What's your WHY?

Most of us have firsthand experience with how hard changing our lifestyle can be. We get pumped up about New Year’s resolutions, only to get frustrated with ourselves a couple weeks later if we drop them. “Forget it! I don’t have enough time to meditate.” “It’s just too hard to quit smoking.” We feel like failures when we don’t have the drive to make a new behavior stick. But we aren’t failures at all! We just lean too much on something that fails: willpower. Willpower isn’t

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