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self care, self compassion, yoga, body positive, coach, wellness, health, body image, stress, self criticism

Holiday self care BINGO

Holiday self care BINGO

There's an old Zen proverb, "You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you’re too busy. In that case, you should meditate for an hour a day." A similar sentiment applies to taking care of ourselves. When we're busy and overwhelmed and it feels like we don't have a single moment to take a deep breath, self care becomes even more important. For many folks, the pressure to be joyful or bring others joy during the holiday season can feel burdensome. When you're

Mindful Minute: Softening the jaw

Mindful Minute: Softening the jaw

Relaxing your jaw can be helpful for coping with stress, TMD, and migraines. Even if you aren't experiencing any of those right now, you may find that there's a surprising amount of tension in your jaw! Take just a minute or two to bring your attention to your breath and release tension in your jaw. #mindfulness #breath #stressrelief #relaxation #stress #littlehabits #meditation

The "I'll start tomorrow" self care trap

The "I'll start tomorrow" self care trap

How many times have you wanted to take action toward feeling better and said to yourself: "Yes, I want that! But I can't start right now. I'm too tired, busy, distracted, overwhelmed, ____. I'll start tomorrow, when it's easier." In my work, I hear about so many walking shoes not yet broken-in, bedtimes ignored, doctor's appointments put off, vacation days unused, calls to friends never dialed, relationship conflicts never resolved, novels unwritten, lunch breaks skipped,

Beginning again

Beginning again

Back in November, I took a break from my daily cup of coffee and was a little surprised to find that within just a few days, my vocabulary had halved and my ability to finish a sentence seemed to be on the fritz. I’ve always been sensitive, so it made sense that caffeine withdrawal could make me feel fuzzy and tired. But months later, my brain fog hadn’t gotten even a bit better and I was still super tired. Mid-sentence I lost my train of thought, never to catch it agai

Unglamorous self care: no face masks needed!

Unglamorous self care: no face masks needed!

Have you ever done a social media search for the term "self care?" The search results tend to be dominated by fancy bath products, essential oils, and beautifully photographed meals. To a passerby, it might look like self care is pretty luxurious. I'm not saying that face masks and $8 smoothies aren't good ways to nurture yourself. They can be pretty great even if the effects wear off in a couple of hours. However, the self care that has the biggest impact on our daily liv

One question to soften panic and find compassion

One question to soften panic and find compassion

As 2017 seems to rush to an end, I'm steadying myself in an intention that feels grounding when it seems like time is flying. (Because wow, wasn't it just Halloween?) This intention is also a solid first step to offering myself compassion when things get heavy and I'm teetering on the edge of overwhelmed. It's really simple. Take a breath and ask, "What am I willing to notice?" This question isn't meant to withdraw us from participating in the world, but to engage a lit

Practical self care when the holidays drive you nuts

Practical self care when the holidays drive you nuts

It’s hard to believe that holiday season is right around the corner! That happened fast, huh? You might be excited for really fun family time, a “friendsgiving,” or a relaxing break from work when you can finally catch up on Stranger Things. Or maybe holidays tend to bring with them a bit of stress. You may even be dreading some really hard stuff. Maybe you’re bracing for rough conversations with family or anticipating Aunt Susan railing on about her diet and giving you th

Can positive thinking "cure" your negative emotions?

Can positive thinking "cure" your negative emotions?

There's a weird self improvement philosophy that takes positive thinking to the extreme by suggesting that we only experience negative feelings because our mindset is messed up. The idea is that if you can just look at the world through a positive lens, you can be done with negative feelings and transform your life for the better! That simplicity sounds tempting, right? Unfortunately, the positivity-or-bust approach can start to look less like stepping into a transformed li

If self care is hard for you, you aren't alone

If self care is hard for you, you aren't alone

Something I hear a lot is "I know _____ (exercise, taking my medication, eating breakfast, going to bed on time, etc.) is such a small and easy thing. Everyone else is able to do it, but for some reason I just can't get my act together." I just wanted to send you a reminder today that 1) sometimes the "easy" stuff is actually really hard and takes a lot of energy and 2) you aren't alone if you feel that way. We don't like to look at the shadow side of the self care movement a

First aid for mile long to-do list stress

First aid for mile long to-do list stress

A lot of the phrases I hear when I talk to super busy people about self care are, "I should," "I need to," "I have to," plus extremely loud sighs. If you're already overworked, having a laundry list of the stuff you've GOTTA do to take care of yourself can be overwhelming! How on earth can you get all of your work done, take the dog to the vet, run your errands, get the trash to the curb, pay the bills, drop off food for your sick neighbor, call your mom, AND feed yourself

Giving yourself a break when you can't sleep

Giving yourself a break when you can't sleep

We all want a good night’s sleep. But sometimes it’s just not happening. A new medication gives you night sweats. The neighbor’s car alarm keeps going off. The kids want endless glasses of water. You’re worried something is wrong with the cat and she may need to go to the vet. Or you just can’t put your finger on why, but your brain won’t shut down. On top of not being able to fall asleep, an annoying voice pipes up: “Even if I fall asleep this very second, I’m going

Your inner critic's favorite kind of goals

Your inner critic's favorite kind of goals

A lot of my coaching clients come to our first session with a long list of abandoned self care goals and an inner critic who is pretty revved up about it. Many of these strong, wise, highly-motivated people used a popular strategy for changing habits: setting highly specific, measurable goals. Super detailed goals can be helpful for some behaviors for some people. Many times, though, rigid goals set us up to fail. In the real world, people have a hard time meeting

Do you have to "earn" self care?

Do you have to "earn" self care?

Here’s something I wish I learned before I people-pleased, overworked, criticized, and overextended myself into burnout years ago: You don’t have to earn self care. Too often we put off our needs until we meet our unspoken requirements for worthiness. For many of us, productivity is one of the biggest requirements. Before we deserve rest, boundaries, or nourishment, we bargain that we first have to accomplish, succeed, and give, give, give. Oof. The marathon just t

Are you taking self care advice from a bully?

Are you taking self care advice from a bully?

Do you ever hear a term so many times that it starts to lose its meaning? “Self care” can be one of those terms. It’s so ever-present that it’s easy to overlook a key part: care. We don’t always extend the care we give others to ourselves. We listen to our friends’ worries, affirm their feelings, and remind them that we’ve got their backs no matter what. Even though we scold the dog for peeing on the rug, we later remind him, “Awww, you’re such a good boy!” When k

Savoring life when you have a million things to do

Savoring life when you have a million things to do

I was a theater kid in high school. One of my favorite parts of performing was the moment of darkness at the opening of the show, just before light beamed onto the stage. The audience was quiet with anticipation and the actors were in our places. Worries over what was to come, whether it was my first note, the hazards of wobbling in costume heels, or enunciating the tricky part of my monologue, all of it disappeared. During that still and silent pause between preparing an

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How to stop dreading exercise

How to stop dreading exercise

Exercise used to be my unhealthy obsession. It usually felt joyless, but I gave it hours every day. I’d jog alone at night and lift weights so aggressively that I was nearly always sore. If someone delayed my "workout" (a term I rarely use now!), I would get so anxious that I wanted to cry. My friends called me a health nut, but when I was honest with myself, I wasn’t exercising for my health. I was willingly sacrificing my safety and mental health to shrink my body into OK-n

Why body peace matters in an unpeaceful world

Why body peace matters in an unpeaceful world

Every day, the news is full of yet another layer of heartbreak. So many kind, loving hearts are grieving around the world. Because of this, I’ve been second-guessing whether to write what I’d planned. I worried it might be petty to talk about making peace with our bodies at a time when violence seems to be everywhere we turn, and our action feels urgent. Then I attended a webinar led by the powerful Sonya Renee Taylor, the founder of The Body Is Not An Apology, and I was

Second nature self care

Second nature self care

Last month I wrote about lowering your standards so self care is an invitation, not an obligation. For example, rather than resisting an hour of yoga, offer yourself one pose. If more happens after that one pose, awesome! If it doesn’t, you’ve still practiced. The purpose in lowering standards is to offer yourself an invitation to self care that’s easy to say “yes” to. The more often you accept that invitation, the sooner you’ll find yourself with a steady habit that can g

Taking the path of least resistance

Taking the path of least resistance

Americans are big fans of ambition and productivity. We work long hours, wear “busyness as a badge of honor,” and set New Year’s resolutions designed to take us from non-runners to marathoners in a flash. This can lead to advances in science, humanitarian contributions that help the world become a better place, and professional success. When it comes to lifestyle change, however, we can feel as though we’ve failed if we fall short of our high expectations. Here’s an

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