
One good thing
At times it can feel like telling your story, protesting, donating, crying, yelling, making phone calls, educating, and earnest conversations don't make enough of a difference. Some days you feel worn down, heartbroken, and helpless. No matter how you're feeling right now, you are valuable and deserve care.
Today, and especially on days when it feels like nothing is in your control, please do one good thing that reminds you that your well-being matters.
One of these may be

What if you didn't have to do everything, right now, without help?
I recently got sick traveling home from a great trip. I ended up with a weird combination of the flu, strep, and an ear infection, followed by a ruptured eardrum and laryngitis. I was so sick that all work and most other responsibilities, including those that had already backlogged while I was traveling, had to be put on hold.
I’m grateful that I was able to get the support I needed and that I was able to ask for and receive help. There was a time when postponing meetings,

One question to soften panic and find compassion
As 2017 seems to rush to an end, I'm steadying myself in an intention that feels grounding when it seems like time is flying. (Because wow, wasn't it just Halloween?)
This intention is also a solid first step to offering myself compassion when things get heavy and I'm teetering on the edge of overwhelmed. It's really simple.
Take a breath and ask, "What am I willing to notice?"
This question isn't meant to withdraw us from participating in the world, but to engage a lit

Practical self care when the holidays drive you nuts
It’s hard to believe that holiday season is right around the corner! That happened fast, huh? You might be excited for really fun family time, a “friendsgiving,” or a relaxing break from work when you can finally catch up on Stranger Things.
Or maybe holidays tend to bring with them a bit of stress. You may even be dreading some really hard stuff. Maybe you’re bracing for rough conversations with family or anticipating Aunt Susan railing on about her diet and giving you th

Can positive thinking "cure" your negative emotions?
There's a weird self improvement philosophy that takes positive thinking to the extreme by suggesting that we only experience negative feelings because our mindset is messed up. The idea is that if you can just look at the world through a positive lens, you can be done with negative feelings and transform your life for the better!
That simplicity sounds tempting, right? Unfortunately, the positivity-or-bust approach can start to look less like stepping into a transformed li

If self care is hard for you, you aren't alone
Something I hear a lot is "I know _____ (exercise, taking my medication, eating breakfast, going to bed on time, etc.) is such a small and easy thing. Everyone else is able to do it, but for some reason I just can't get my act together." I just wanted to send you a reminder today that 1) sometimes the "easy" stuff is actually really hard and takes a lot of energy and 2) you aren't alone if you feel that way. We don't like to look at the shadow side of the self care movement a

Some reassurance to soothe your self care guilt
It’s ok to waver in your self care.
Even if you know what a difference it makes and you're struggling without it.
Even if you’ve learned your lesson about going to bed on time many times over and you’ve slipped back into old patterns of putting it off.
Even if you’ve worked to have a friendlier relationship with your body and today you’re really vulnerable and only feel negative thoughts.
Even if you spent months getting into the habit of getting yourself to a wee

First aid for mile long to-do list stress
A lot of the phrases I hear when I talk to super busy people about self care are, "I should," "I need to," "I have to," plus extremely loud sighs. If you're already overworked, having a laundry list of the stuff you've GOTTA do to take care of yourself can be overwhelming!
How on earth can you get all of your work done, take the dog to the vet, run your errands, get the trash to the curb, pay the bills, drop off food for your sick neighbor, call your mom, AND feed yourself

Giving yourself a break when you can't sleep
We all want a good night’s sleep. But sometimes it’s just not happening.
A new medication gives you night sweats. The neighbor’s car alarm keeps going off. The kids want endless glasses of water. You’re worried something is wrong with the cat and she may need to go to the vet. Or you just can’t put your finger on why, but your brain won’t shut down.
On top of not being able to fall asleep, an annoying voice pipes up:
“Even if I fall asleep this very second, I’m going

Your inner critic's favorite kind of goals
A lot of my coaching clients come to our first session with a long list of abandoned self care goals and an inner critic who is pretty revved up about it.
Many of these strong, wise, highly-motivated people used a popular strategy for changing habits: setting highly specific, measurable goals.
Super detailed goals can be helpful for some behaviors for some people.
Many times, though, rigid goals set us up to fail.
In the real world, people have a hard time meeting