How many times have you wanted to take action toward feeling better and said to yourself: "Yes, I want that! But I can't start right now. I'm too tired, busy, distracted, overwhelmed, ____. I'll start tomorrow, when it's easier." In my work, I hear about so many walking shoes not yet broken-in, bedtimes ignored, doctor's appointments put off, vacation days unused, calls to friends never dialed, relationship conflicts never resolved, novels unwritten, lunch breaks skipped,

I recently got sick traveling home from a great trip. I ended up with a weird combination of the flu, strep, and an ear infection, followed by a ruptured eardrum and laryngitis. I was so sick that all work and most other responsibilities, including those that had already backlogged while I was traveling, had to be put on hold. I’m grateful that I was able to get the support I needed and that I was able to ask for and receive help. There was a time when postponing meetings,

As 2017 seems to rush to an end, I'm steadying myself in an intention that feels grounding when it seems like time is flying. (Because wow, wasn't it just Halloween?) This intention is also a solid first step to offering myself compassion when things get heavy and I'm teetering on the edge of overwhelmed. It's really simple. Take a breath and ask, "What am I willing to notice?" This question isn't meant to withdraw us from participating in the world, but to engage a lit

Something I hear a lot is "I know _____ (exercise, taking my medication, eating breakfast, going to bed on time, etc.) is such a small and easy thing. Everyone else is able to do it, but for some reason I just can't get my act together." I just wanted to send you a reminder today that 1) sometimes the "easy" stuff is actually really hard and takes a lot of energy and 2) you aren't alone if you feel that way. We don't like to look at the shadow side of the self care movement a

It’s ok to waver in your self care. Even if you know what a difference it makes and you're struggling without it. Even if you’ve learned your lesson about going to bed on time many times over and you’ve slipped back into old patterns of putting it off. Even if you’ve worked to have a friendlier relationship with your body and today you’re really vulnerable and only feel negative thoughts. Even if you spent months getting into the habit of getting yourself to a wee

A lot of the phrases I hear when I talk to super busy people about self care are, "I should," "I need to," "I have to," plus extremely loud sighs. If you're already overworked, having a laundry list of the stuff you've GOTTA do to take care of yourself can be overwhelming! How on earth can you get all of your work done, take the dog to the vet, run your errands, get the trash to the curb, pay the bills, drop off food for your sick neighbor, call your mom, AND feed yourself

We all want a good night’s sleep. But sometimes it’s just not happening. A new medication gives you night sweats. The neighbor’s car alarm keeps going off. The kids want endless glasses of water. You’re worried something is wrong with the cat and she may need to go to the vet. Or you just can’t put your finger on why, but your brain won’t shut down. On top of not being able to fall asleep, an annoying voice pipes up: “Even if I fall asleep this very second, I’m going

There was a time when I thought the number one most important thing that anyone needed to know about self care was how to get a good night's sleep. Later, I thought it might be exercise or stress management or deep breathing. I still think those things are important, but they are just things that you do to take care of yourself. Compassion is the actual foundation of self care. Once you can be compassionate with yourself through the full spectrum of your emotions, action

Do you ever hear a term so many times that it starts to lose its meaning? “Self care” can be one of those terms. It’s so ever-present that it’s easy to overlook a key part: care. We don’t always extend the care we give others to ourselves. We listen to our friends’ worries, affirm their feelings, and remind them that we’ve got their backs no matter what. Even though we scold the dog for peeing on the rug, we later remind him, “Awww, you’re such a good boy!” When k

Last month, my partner invited me to his work celebration of his recent publication. I joined Mark and his lab mates at an arcade on a Thursday night, with two goals in mind: celebrate Mark and find Whack-a-mole. If you’re unfamiliar with Whack-a-mole, it’s an old, mechanical, tabletop game. You insert your token and pick up a heavily padded mallet. Your job is then to whack colorful plastic “moles” on the head as they pop out of the table. It’s immensely satisfying. Ma