Do you have to "earn" self care?
Here’s something I wish I learned before I people-pleased, overworked, criticized, and overextended myself into burnout years ago: You don’t have to earn self care. Too often we put off our needs until we meet our unspoken requirements for worthiness. For many of us, productivity is one of the biggest requirements. Before we deserve rest, boundaries, or nourishment, we bargain that we first have to accomplish, succeed, and give, give, give. Oof. The marathon just to be “enough” is exhausting, right? Productivity can require so many hoops to jump through that we end up completely drained before we FINALLY earn self care! The irony is that once we’re worn out, we're out of fuel for both productivity and self care. And when our needs come last, it's really tough to care for others without resenting them. Putting off your own care until you're a "worthy" employee, spouse, friend, community member, or caregiver will wear you down. A different mindset works and can feel much better:
You are worthy of your own care always, without conditions. You don’t have to apply to a certain number of jobs, get a promotion, or meet deadlines to grant yourself permission to rest. There are no minimum volunteer hours or calls to representatives required before you’re allowed to go outside and breathe fresh air. You don’t have to win trophies for caregiver of the year, send the most thoughtful gift, make healthy homemade meals, or chaperone field trips to have the right to boundaries and the word “no.” You don’t have to train, diet, or count calories to earn self acceptance and kindness. Your worth isn't defined by your accomplishments. You’re always worthy of mental, physical, emotional, social, and spiritual care. For a wholehearted approach to productivity, be sure to watch the video below:
What do you think? Have you made yourself earn self care, too? If you’re a productivity junkie, as many of us are raised to be, prioritizing wellbeing over your To Do list can be scary. If you'd like support, let's talk!