A way to avoid a pants-related meltdown
Ever since I was little, my gap-free thighs have built friction when I walk that could set a fire. That friction has destroyed many beloved pairs of jeans. Today, I said goodbye to two trusty pairs of pants that have worn threadbare in the inner thighs: black exercise pants and a pair of skinny jeans. In the past, this would have sent me on a shame spiral that, yet again, my thighs betrayed me. My legs physically breaking a pair of pants once seemed like evidence that my body was disobedient, rebellious, and too chubby to deserve nice things. It felt like a personal failing. As you may know from personal experience, that kind of self talk doesn’t feel great! So now I focus on something different. When I look at these pants and their not-long-for-this-world seams, I think about the experiences I've had in them. I’ve zoomed through my neighborhood in these exercise pants, to pet the horses down the road. I’ve walked many miles along shaded trails with friends, and my brother and his sassy Great Dane, Athena. These pants have picked up crumbled leaves while yoga’ing on the porch and gotten speckled with pollen while writing newsletters from the front step.
I’ve danced at concerts and festivals in my jeans. Wearing them, I’ve climbed crowded, cobbled steps in Sicily, and stood before large groups of people to lead conversations about body image and self care. In my now-threadbare denim, I’ve sat on the floor sipping tea with coaching clients, and stood with thousands at the historic Women’s March.
There’s no shame in wearing the fabric of your pants into transparency or needing a different size. Wear and tear and weight in flux are just evidence of life lived.
When it’s time to let go of your well-worn pants, whether they’re threadbare or not quite the right size or fit anymore, it may be tempting to give your body a hard time about it. But your body isn’t wrong if it doesn’t comply with certain items of clothing.
Your body keeps carrying you forward, and for that it deserves compassion and pants that you can comfortably breathe, eat, walk, and sit in!
Wishing you encouraging self pep talks in the fitting room the next time you're pants-shopping.